30 Thoughts Carried at 30

The recollection of a lot of old notes from the year past, that stuck out as lessons for the year of turning 30. New baby, new home, new job - a lot of transitions to adjust at one time. Here are some of things that stuck with me.

1. 

   Nothing humbles you faster than a tiny human who doesn't care about your schedule. Amazing.

2. The Joy (U19 World Cup - Semi Final Morning)

   The joy of the small moments, where you get to make a kids dream come true.

   The joy of the jersey, the green and the gold.

   The joy of the sport, is back in my front yard.

   The sound of the ball bouncing, with nothing else in the world.

   Never forget the joy.

3. "True intimacy is synonymous with moving beyond gender roles. Men open their hearts. Women move to assertion with love." - Terry Real

4. Generally speaking, unsolicited advice doesn't go very well. Coming into a new environment remember to coach with patience.

5. Do you have the capacity to cherish yourself, in the face of your imperfections and pain? Treat yourself like you're somebody responsible for helping.

6. You are not a problem to be solved. You are a person to be loved - even by yourself.

7. "I want to sit at a cafe at a ridiculously quiet hour in the morning, get slightly over caffeinated with a hint of nicotine and write about the beauty and possibility of the world."

8. Stillness reveals what the rushing hides.

9. Most people can't face the thought of: going backwards, starting over, relearning. But really, all the great ones did.

10. If you get an opportunity to see somebody you admire live in person, don't miss it. Loved seeing Liz Gilbert, can't wait to see Chris Williamson.

11. Be careful of the narrow path. When all your energy goes into one part of your identity, the rest of you stops growing.

12. As they say in sobriety, don't leave before the miracle.

13. Sit in strong determination. Meditate - time to go back to the well.

14. We don't admire people who appear perfect, but the people who are imperfect and comfortable doing it. That's why Liz Gilbert is so amazing.

15. When you share things with the world you cast out magnets - expanding your luck surface area. Keep sharing.

16. Give yourself permission.

    Drop the anxiety of missing work, for the most significant moment in your life. (Fatherhood)

    Be at peace with the state of not being there, but simultaneously committed to your job.

    Don't sacrifice today for an imaginary tomorrow.

    Don't miss the moment.

    Don't miss the greenlight.

17. Once you've developed your intuition, your gut - don't trust anything else.

18. True sense of self is when the external world doesn't dictate the internal experience.

19. Life is a course of relearning the same lessons over and over in different contexts. So re-read the same books, and go back over your old journals. Until something sticks.

20. Courage is sometimes simply saying, I need help. Probably a lesson to be learned over and over in my own life.

21. I don't care much for destinations. Give me a direction and a 16 lane highway with room to swerve and explore along the way.

22. The genius can do anything, but does one thing at a time.

23. I have a profound allergy to being untrue to myself. I want this to be the mantra for my entire life.

24. Smart people talk with simplicity. They're not trying to outsmart anybody.

25. You can't think your way to clarity, you have to feel it. Your body will tell you what your brain cannot figure out.

26. Your life may change for the better the moment you stop abandoning yourself. During this transition, I have not done a good job of taking care of myself. Going back to square one.

27. Obradovic, Messina, Molloy all stepped down in one week. Success or prestige doesn't protect you from burning the candle at both ends. Only you can control that.

28. The worst mistake is premature commitment. This is a good reminder: We often work and stay busy as an excuse to not deal with harder problems at home and with ourselves.

29. Whatever pain you can't escape, make it your creative offering. Turn the pain of self rumination into a blog post, into a poem, into something beautiful.

30. Writing is an antidote to most of your internal problems, keep your diet up.

    
    

When Life Changes Shape

Don’t run from the shift,

Walk with it.

Let it break over you

slowly.

Some days the road will feel

too quiet,

too wide,

too full of the things

you’re afraid to feel.

Stand there anyway.

Let the weather of your life

wash through you.

You’ll feel stripped bare,

but not broken—

just closer to the truth of yourself,

closer to the man

you’re slowly becoming

in the quiet no one sees.