• Jack Fleming

If You Can't, Then You Must.



We all have attachments in our life, the things we cling to that become part of our identity.


The player who is attached to getting their shots in, so much that they can feel guilty, unhappy or even mildly depressed when they have to do recovery instead or sit on the couch.


The coach who is attached to their job title and their own success, that when they have a season where they're not winning they become a complainer. They become somebody seeking the next team, the next season if they're not up on the podium at the end.


The person who wakes up who is attached to their morning coffee, that if they don't have it they turn into an asshole.


A 6 month lockdown on your couch is a good test of our attachments. We are attached to many, many objects and pursuits.


Can we be free of our attachments?

Are you being distracted from being grateful and enjoying where you are and who you're with right now? Are your routines becoming a trap? A vice that chains you down.


My morning coffee.


My podcasts, books.


My Twitter notifications.


My identity as a coach.


My ambitious pursuit of more.


For what? To climb the proverbial mountain and hope there'll be some magical feeling up there that will fulfil you? That lasts a second. Nobody writes books about the view at the top, they write them about the journey and the struggle.


“I really do not need you to be happy. I’m only deluding myself in the belief that without you I will not be happy. But I really don’t need you for my happiness; I can be happy without you. You are not my happiness, you are not my joy.” - Anthony De Mello, Awareness


If you can't go a day without a podcast, then you must. If you can't go an hour without watching film then you must.


If you can't enjoy nothing but your own internal state, then you must.


See the things you cling to for what they really are. Everything you've convinced you cannot be happy without is a nightmare.


What are your attachments? Can you sit with them and name them?

The goal is when you stop sacrificing today for an imaginary tomorrow. When what you do is complete, in and of itself, to be so grateful to have but not want, to enjoy without needing.

When you stop playing status games, chasing the plastic trophy and start enjoying the process of building your own character you stop competing with others.


When you realise that nobody can compete with you in being you, that's a game you want to play.


There's so much beauty in the struggle, if you start looking for it.












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